So I decided to blog today. I had a lot of thoughts going through my head. Which is actually the norm. :p Honestly I think my mind is racing even when I'm sleeping. LOL
I started to think about how I and many of us can get so caught up in the future we forget to be present in the here and now. I remember when I started thinking about parenthood and how I could prepare for it. The thing is that sometimes the best preparations happen in the midst of the actual event. I mean sure there's ways to prepare for parenthood. You could try to get less sleep, be okay with changing poopy diapers, watch a family members kid when sick and let them puke all over you etc. ;) (ok, really don't do that) But there's something about dealing and going through it when you are actually there. I very much like to prepare mentally for events and try to think about how I will be and act in those situations. I've learned sometimes until I was there I could not be completely prepared. Another thing is that God is so good, that he truly gives us his supernatural grace to accomplish what we are doing. But that grace is not there before hand. You also don't have the blessings or good points that go with having a child til you have one. It's like preparing for one of the greatest blessings you could ever receive, but having none of the joys, perks, blessings and grace that you will have in that moment. I call that a recipe for doubt, fear and maybe even becoming so overwhelmed with it that we don't even take the step.
I've also looked back and said "man I could have prepared even more in situations". When I look back at being a parent of one child I think "man, it was so easy with one and I really could have taken better advantage of that time to prepare for baby #2". Then I think back and realize that I was really enjoying and living in the moment of having one child and I don't regret that! I wouldn't change it. It so easy to look back and see how much more we could have done, but truth is I was living in that present moment and I'm grateful for that. There's so much we learn in the midst of our current situations and that's the beauty of being in the here and now and not where others are or you may be in future. I feel there's a lot of happiness that can be missed if I was too concentrated on what was coming. There's beauty in learning things in the midst of them and not from other people's experiences, books or even what we think it might be like.
I sometimes get WAY ahead of myself. It's a good thing to prepare for the future and think ahead. I think the problem is when the future becomes more of our current life than where we are currently. I have been thinking a lot about it with homeschooling too. Kindergarten is not required in NY state. So this year although we've started schooling we don't have to. My thoughts though went like this "but next year I will have to do reports and be super thorough". Today as I was thinking about it and talking to the Lord. I felt like he said you are preparing again for a place you are not at yet and my grace is not there. I was like that's so true. It's not that I'm not going to prepare, but I was beginning to prepare more for the future than enjoying this new journey and place I'm at now. I was getting so caught up in what I have to do in the future that I was starting to not enjoy where I currently am. The fact is this year is the last year it will be this easy with homeschooling and I truly want to embrace where I am and stop fretting about how I'm going to have to be.
My encouragement to you is enjoy where you are, be present in the present and take peace that where ever the future leads you God is already prepared and will be right there to help you and extend his grace to you!
